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    <title><![CDATA[Jokes - ArcaMax Publishing]]></title>
	<link>https://www.arcamax.com//entertainment/humor/jokes/rss</link>
	<description><![CDATA[Jokes News Feed]]></description>
	<language>en-us</language>
	<copyright>Copyright 2026 ArcaMax Publishing</copyright>
	
	
	
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		<title><![CDATA[Wedding Plans]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are 
all excited about their decision to get married. They go 
for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they 
pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1216971</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/14/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Hitch-hiking]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A guy was hitch-hiking on a very dark and stormy night. The 
night was getting on and no cars went by. Suddenly he saw a 
car roll slowly toward him and stop. 

Without thinking about it, the guy jumped into the back seat 
and closed the door when...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1216970</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/14/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Things Luke Did Between ESB and ROTJ]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[1. Spent a lot of time in the gymnastics facilities working on those AMAZING back flips, etc...

2. Played "Itsy Bitsy Spider" trying to get his fingers to work again

3. One word: Whined

4. Spent days, and days, and days trying to figure out why...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-425435</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/14/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Answering Machine Message 160]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-79773</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/14/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Funny Signs, Part I]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."

In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-14794</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/14/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[How to Handle Teens]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful,...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-964831</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/13/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Visiting a barber]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-964301</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/13/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Math One Liners]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[- Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x].

- If parallel lines meet at infinity - infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!

- Maths Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is x...
Student: Yes...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-79776</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/13/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Corporate Structure, Part 2]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[General Manager - Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by a locomotive. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals.

Manager - Runs into buildings. Recognizes ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-78741</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/13/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Motherly Lessons, Part II]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
My mother taught me LOGIC...
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT...
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in
an accident.

My mother taught me IRONY...
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-14798</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/13/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Proportions]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University 
of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his 
asked if he could paint Peter's portrait for a class 
assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and 
submitted the...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-1216223</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/12/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Non-Deep Thoughts]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[- I planted some birdseed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.

- I had amnesia once -- or twice.

- I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what?

- Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

- All I ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-963774</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/12/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[At The Doctor's Office]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her 
body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left wrist and screamed, then 
she pushed her elbow...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-963773</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/12/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Men vs.Women]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[Any married man should forget his mistakes -- There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-78745</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/12/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Woops...]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[In my husband's work for a cable-television company, he 
encounters illegal hookups that drive up costs for other 
customers. One day he arrived at a repair job just as the 
homeowner was pulling into the driveway. She pointed the 
way to the den,...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-14689</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/12/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[You Know It's Time To Diet When....]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[1. You dance and it makes the band skip.

2. You are diagnosed with the flesh eating virus, and the doctor gives you 22 more years to live.

3. You put mayonnaise on an aspirin.

4. You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts.

5. Your ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-963689</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/11/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Cat Rules of Hampering]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[If one of your humans is engaged in some close activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping", otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering":

1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-963686</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/11/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Best Seat in The House]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[An old Indian lined up all of his ten sons and stood in front of them. He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" Nobody answered him.

He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" And again nobody answered.

The old Indian ...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-77998</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/11/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Signs You've had too much of the 21st Century, Part II]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
15. Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records
your College roommate used to play. 

16. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken
noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea. 

17. You checked your blow-dryer to see if it was Y2K
...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-14581</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/11/2026</pubDate>
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		<title><![CDATA[Signs You've had too much of the 21st Century, Part I]]></title>
		<description><![CDATA[
1. You try to enter your password on the microwave. 

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach 
your family of 4. 

4. You e-mail your colleague at the desk next to you to ask 
if...<br /><br /><hr size="1" />]]></description>
		<link>https://www.arcamax.com/jokes/s-14580</link>
		
 
    <pubDate>Oct/11/2026</pubDate>
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