Lars asked Ole, "Do ya know da difference between a Norvegian and a canoe?"

"No, I don't," said Ole.

"A canoe will sometimes tip," explained Lars.

The basketball coach stormed into the university president's office and demanded a raise right then and there.

"Please," protested the college President, "you already make more than the entire History department."

"Yeah, maybe so, but you don't know what I have to put up with," the coach blustered. "Look."

He went out into the hall and ...Read more

A boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.

The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to him, "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarette packet, that smoking is injurious to your health!"

The boy replies back: "I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."

Four-word story of employment: Hired, tired, mired, fired.

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't hear the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" ...Read more

Darla had applied for a job and when she returned home, her mother asked how the interview went.

"Pretty good, I think," replied Darla, "but if I go to work there I won't get a vacation until I'm married."

Her mother, of course, had never heard of such a thing. "Is that what they told you?"

"No", replied Darla, "but right on the application ...Read more

Following a woman with a dog out of the movie theater, a man stopped her and said, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I was amazed that your dog seemed to get into the movie so much. He cried at the right spots, moved nervously at the boring spots, and laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Don't you find that unusual?"

"Yes," she replied. "I find ...Read more

Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.

One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school. Did you manage to live a well planned life?"

"Yes," said her friend, "My first marriage was to a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a preacher;
and now I'm ...Read more

"I had the worst study habits in the history of college, until I found out what I was doing wrong -- highlighting with a black magic marker."

~ Jeff Altman

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"As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it."

~ Sam Ewing

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"Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just...Read more

Court Clears AOLTimeWarnerGEDisneyCiscoFordRJRNabiscoExxonMobil of Monopoly Charges

50-Year Study: Diet and Exercise Key to Weight Loss

Baby Conceived Naturally

It Wasn't the Cigarettes -- It Was the Ashtrays

Mother Monica Dies: Revered Hero of Bangkok Slums Overcame Lurid Past With US President

Florida to Be Readmitted to Union

Plague of...Read more